I feel very depressed. The thing is, I am making myself this way.
Could the antidepressants I recently started taking have something to do with it? Technically they should be working to prevent extreme mood shifts. But as Chanterelle said to me a few minutes ago, Chemicals aren’t the only things that makes us, us.
I have complained for the past hour about feeling depressed for no reason. Feeling listless and without any desire for anything life has to offer. I complained that Christmas was a time I spent with my mother, and it reminds me she’s gone.
But, in fact, that’s utter crap. Those things have no more ability to put me into a state of depression than the pills have to bring me out of it. Our moods and feelings are all balloons, flying, weaving through the air with the wind. But what happens when we grab hold of these balloons and hold them down?
We stay depressed.
Uninhibited by negativity, our balloons will rise up to contentment. But as long as we wrap our fingers around the string, allowing our egos to wrap us in negative and irrational thought patterns, we will stay depressed.
I have no one to blame but myself.
Aaaaahhhhh…I feel better now.
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Usually anti-depressant medication takes several weeks before they begin to stabilize one’s mental state, typically 3-6 weeks.
Also, there is a dizzying array of medications available, many of which are very dose dependent and are nowadays used in combination in what is referred to as a cocktail (sometimes 3 drugs). Thats the trend for leading-edge psych-med therapy with doctors that are on top of the field.
Because of this complex treatment prospect that people now are beginning to face with therapy options, I personally recommend a well-planned strategy of diet, exercise, light therapy, vitamin supplements and careful journaling to track progress before seeking the medication route.
The journal should contain self-evaluative metrics like mood state, tiredness, alertness, focus, attitude, and any other characterization you could include in an organized repeatable list arranged chronologically every 3 hours for every day for 3 months. Rating from 0 to 10 for each metric, these numbers can be used to chart and graph your progress in a way you can see at a glance what is or is not changing.
After this sobering, committed statistical investigation has been properly performed, only then can one seriously decide to initiate pharmacological intervention as primary therapy.
I also don’t believe in pharmacological intervention unless one has engaged in at least 3 to 6 months of minimum once a week one-on-one counseling with a licensed psychotherapist and it is their professional conclusion that you should do so and that they will continue carefully monitoring your condition as medication therapy progresses.
I know it sounds like a lot of work and costly, but, it is your mind and ultimately your life that is at stake here and this is all too precious to rush and cut corners around to find a quick fix.
It is insane that you might be evaluated for less than an hour and be given a prescription for a psych med, especially at your age and with no prior history of psychotherapeutic evaluation.
I’m a big fan of modern day medical intervention, but, unqualified use of psych-meds without monitoring scares the hell out of me for myself or anyone I care about.
Give your body what it needs in the real world and have faith in it’s ability to adjust and level its systems before taking drastic measures with your mind, which is inexorably linked with your physical state.
Nothing worth having can be had easily or with the mere drop of a pill when it comes to one’s sense of self, happiness, love and purpose.