Comments on: The Four Guys I’ve Kissed http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/ Comments make me smile! Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:15:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Ram http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-882 Ram Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:58:47 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-882 I like the story..I can relate.. I like the story..I can relate..

]]> By: Patrick Shields http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-870 Patrick Shields Tue, 12 Jan 2010 21:21:29 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-870 I found <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/alsyb/i_was_born_a_hermaphrodite_then_surgically/" rel="nofollow">this reddit "IAmA" post</a> relevant. The poster is genderless and sort of floats between masculinity and femininity on a day-to-day basis. I found this reddit “IAmA” post relevant. The poster is genderless and sort of floats between masculinity and femininity on a day-to-day basis.

]]> By: Ryan http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-844 Ryan Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:12:02 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-844 Another viewpoint... Although I'm gay, I have to say that I know what a lot of this feels like. I think more of my coming out story in life has been to do with being comfortable with who I am as a whole, rather than being comfortable with just sexual identity. In the U.S., there's an odd combination of things that people can't seem to separate: cultural behavior and sexuality. I guess, unlike your struggle, one of the easier things for me to figure out was that I was into guys-- it was just obvious. What was tougher (and still is a weird source of trouble, even if I understand the whole problem) is coming to terms with that my sexuality has nothing to do with how I act, or the things I do. I've found that I'm just different from the majority of straight people like I am different from the majority of gay people. Despite this, I keep trying to fit in with the gay people because I'm gay, and that's what makes most sense to me even if I know it's silly to spend time around guys just because they're gay. I guess there's a certain comfort level, or a certain shared struggle at least; but, often it's not quite enough to make a friendship. It seems like you're attracted to all these aspects of things people consider (culturally) gay, and since you were young had managed to tie sexuality in together with all of that. I'm sure you know it now, but you don't need to. Just be yourself, it's okay to be straight and like whatever you like just like it's okay to be gay or bisexual and like whatever you like. Another viewpoint… Although I’m gay, I have to say that I know what a lot of this feels like. I think more of my coming out story in life has been to do with being comfortable with who I am as a whole, rather than being comfortable with just sexual identity. In the U.S., there’s an odd combination of things that people can’t seem to separate: cultural behavior and sexuality.

I guess, unlike your struggle, one of the easier things for me to figure out was that I was into guys– it was just obvious. What was tougher (and still is a weird source of trouble, even if I understand the whole problem) is coming to terms with that my sexuality has nothing to do with how I act, or the things I do. I’ve found that I’m just different from the majority of straight people like I am different from the majority of gay people. Despite this, I keep trying to fit in with the gay people because I’m gay, and that’s what makes most sense to me even if I know it’s silly to spend time around guys just because they’re gay. I guess there’s a certain comfort level, or a certain shared struggle at least; but, often it’s not quite enough to make a friendship.

It seems like you’re attracted to all these aspects of things people consider (culturally) gay, and since you were young had managed to tie sexuality in together with all of that. I’m sure you know it now, but you don’t need to. Just be yourself, it’s okay to be straight and like whatever you like just like it’s okay to be gay or bisexual and like whatever you like.

]]> By: Robert Prather http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-843 Robert Prather Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:11:39 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-843 Looking at my comment again I feel like it doesn't say enough (to my defense I wrote it from my mobile phone). I found this blog post refreshingly revealing. In a way we don't see people normally opening up these days. Totally awesome. Looking at my comment again I feel like it doesn’t say enough (to my defense I wrote it from my mobile phone).

I found this blog post refreshingly revealing. In a way we don’t see people normally opening up these days.

Totally awesome.

]]> By: Nick http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-842 Nick Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:01:21 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-842 Do you have regrets of any kind? It seems like you may have toyed with the emotions of a few different guys just because you like the attention and power of being attractive. Do you have regrets of any kind? It seems like you may have toyed with the emotions of a few different guys just because you like the attention and power of being attractive.

]]> By: Ben H http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-840 Ben H Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:13:02 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-840 Beautiful post. After reading this, I read a few more of your posts, and I find myself strangely at peace after today. Not that anything special or devastating has happened, nothing did, just that this is the sort of thing I needed to read. So, thank you for writing this. Beautiful post. After reading this, I read a few more of your posts, and I find myself strangely at peace after today. Not that anything special or devastating has happened, nothing did, just that this is the sort of thing I needed to read. So, thank you for writing this.

]]> By: Savannah J. Foley http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-839 Savannah J. Foley Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:08:47 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-839 I recognize and respect you as a complicated human being :-) I recognize and respect you as a complicated human being :-)

]]> By: Robert Prather http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-838 Robert Prather Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:35:21 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-838 Very interesting story. Thanks for sharing! Very interesting story. Thanks for sharing!

]]> By: Christian Holmes http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-837 Christian Holmes Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:31:42 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-837 Great to hear from you Kellye! Your message made m. smile. I am glad I could speak to some of what you have felt. I have always been struck by how little is available on these subjects online. Thanks for reading, Christian Great to hear from you Kellye!

Your message made m. smile. I am glad I could speak to some of what you have felt. I have always been struck by how little is available on these subjects online.

Thanks for reading,

Christian

]]> By: Kellye http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/2009/12/05/the-four-guys-ive-kissed/#comment-836 Kellye Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:57:49 +0000 http://christiandavidholmes.com/blog/?p=759#comment-836 Finally someone talking about how bewildering it is to be bisexual in this world. I just wrote my big research paper on the bisexual paradox and how many in the gay community dismiss us and sometimes outrightly reject our existence. I learned a lot while writing and got more comfortable in my own skin in the process. Thanks for exisiting my friend! :) It can be a tense scary place between those 2 poles but I've lived there my whole life! I was married to a man (who was also bi) and now I'm in my first real relationship with a woman. A great quote by Dvora Zipkin sums it up: "my past life is heterosexual, my present life is mostly lesbian, and my future is unknown." (from Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life by Marjorie Garber) Great book! Anyway, thanks again for talking about this so honestly. Take care.. Finally someone talking about how bewildering it is to be bisexual in this world. I just wrote my big research paper on the bisexual paradox and how many in the gay community dismiss us and sometimes outrightly reject our existence. I learned a lot while writing and got more comfortable in my own skin in the process. Thanks for exisiting my friend! :) It can be a tense scary place between those 2 poles but I’ve lived there my whole life! I was married to a man (who was also bi) and now I’m in my first real relationship with a woman. A great quote by Dvora Zipkin sums it up: “my past life is heterosexual, my present life is mostly lesbian, and my future is unknown.” (from Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life by Marjorie Garber) Great book! Anyway, thanks again for talking about this so honestly. Take care..

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