Chanterelle and I about to leave our apartment.
I touched down in Maui today for the first time in months. Today is the first day I have stepped foot on Maui knowing that I won’t see my mom’s bright face welcoming me back home. After all…where is my home now?
The easy answer would be San Francisco. My girlfriend Chanterelle and I do have a studio apartment, and it feels like home. But the house I grew up in also makes me feel that way.
Tonight I’m sleeping on the floor of my girlfriend’s family’s living room. The family has taken the place of my mom today, selflessly giving us smiles and attention as we walked down the baggage claim walkway.
Being away from San Francisco has spurned my feeling of adventure, and reminded me that there’s a world outside my apartment. That’s a valuable bit of perspective, and its inspired me to start building a library of writing. Especially while my mind is so full of feeling and content.
Its a strange feeling, being here for such a somber event. I feel inspired and depressed all at the same time. I am excited, and petrified for my speech tomorrow in front of many, many people. Reflecting on the death of my mother, I feel a great sense of loss accompanied with a great sense of responsibility. The last words my mother ever said to me directly, through a haze of pain medication and weakness, were “Good luck. Go inspire people.”
And that’s quite a torch to carry.
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