Teens: Are Your Parents Really Trying to Ruin Your Life?

In different cultures, this can mean drastically different things. In different social classes, the ideas which are passed down both subconsciously and consciously are always widely varying.

The main motivations and societal responsibilities of a parent are:

1. To house you and feed you consistently.
2. To keep you “on the right path” and if all else fails, “on some sort of path”.
3. To make sure you are prepared to make the best decisions possible when the time comes.
4. To keep you safe and alive at all costs. Your mother did not carry you in her
   stomach for nearly a year just to let you be killed off.

Children need structure. This is not up for debate. Psychologists galore have studied the effects of a non-structured home life on a child, and the findings have been inconclusive.

Still, the nearly unvaried report comes in about childhoods: “My parents were too strict.” or the far worse report “My parents don’t care what I do”. That last sentence translates directly to “I feel like my parents don’t care about me”.

Is it possible for parents to allow some reign for you based on your age, and still continue to worry about your decisions regardless of the control they have? Absolutely. Many would argue that this is the “way to parent”, and that the most effective way for a human being (both adult and child) to learn is to make a mistake themselves, and correct based on their own experience.

Parents are simply trying to give you the best quality springboard for your dive into life.

They are not enemies. They may not fully understand your points about the benefits of leaving school. Or having a bank account. Another (much more likely) possibility is that they understand your points, are taking them under consideration, and are still concerned enough not to act.

Working with parents is always more effective than rebelling against them. Recognize that they are on your side and take time to explain your side of things with them.

This should not be done with accusatory phrases such as: “You always embarrass me in front of my friends!” but rather “When you call me that name in front of my friends, I feel like a baby and I am embarrassed by it.”

Always focus on what they are saying and if it is a valid point, acknowledge it. Admitting that an apposing point is strong is not admitting defeat.

Your parents are people. Treat them like human beings and they’ll treat you like one back.