Christian David Holmes — Comments make me smile!

Prejudice

March 2, 2010

I have people in my improv class who center me. I just need to hear them speak, and I’m zeroed in.

They’re black guys wearing big brown boots and cornrows, constantly blasting down the wall of racism and judgment I thought I was too conscious to have.

They’re white guys wearing big jackets and jeans 3 sizes too big, getting on stage and acting out a sex scene with another guy, free of homophobia.

They’re the guys who applaud me after I read my poem about my journey with sexuality, and pat me on the back in congratulations in the restroom after class.

They’re the people I judge, without thinking or reasoning, who later become my best friends.

I grew up thinking I was better than everyone. Smarter. More enlightened. Cooler. Better looking. I didn’t admit it to myself, but deep inside, I knew what I felt.

But now I see these people are beautiful. They are wordsmiths. They are masters of humility.

These people have shown me that I am the one stuck in the prejudices of my breeding.

I am the one who needs to learn from them.

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Honesty time here: I started blogging because I thought it made me look cool.
It’s hard for me to remember that first blog, but my vague recollection is of a Blogger-hosted collection of thoughts and writings from my day. I even had a little counter on each post announcing how much money I had in my [...]

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The Poison Pill

I find myself explaining my depression to people like this:
It’s like I unknowingly swallowed a slow-acting poison pill. For the first few days, everything would seem normal.
Then one day, my arm would fall off. That would kind of freak me out. I’d look at the hole where my arm had been, and wonder why the [...]

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Sucked Dry.

I’m sitting here at the Academy of Art University student library. I am starting to get an incredible headache, and I think it’s because I’m sitting in my own little sharpie den.
You know those cubicles that are in school libraries to help you focus? I swear mine has it’s own ecosystem. I can smell nothing [...]

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A Truly Untitled Poem

I wrote this piece for “Poetry Day” at my improv class. It certainly helped me relax into the group. Enjoy!
I used to be
The one that was loud
Wore clothes that would sparkle
Stood out from the crowd
I used to be
The one that would share
His entire life story
To whoever cared
Mine used to be
The first voice you would hear
Now [...]

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Michael

The first time I heard his voice, I was in my mother’s office. I pulled an audio-cassette from a rack of audio history she kept. There were songs and tapes from every era – Motown, doo-wap, jazz, what I called “hippie music”, and…him.
Well…at least I thought it was a him.
Michael Jackson inspired me. His thin, [...]

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New stuff isn’t new!

Apple’s new iPad is exciting. It matches my childhood dream: a magically connected wireless device bridging computer and phone.
We talked about it today in one of my journalism classes. We were discussing media channels, and for the first time in almost 50 years, they’re changing. Newspapers, magazines and radio are being phased out. In their [...]

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Performance Anxiety

I am inexplicably fascinated with bathrooms.
I never noticed when I was growing up, but Chanterelle has begun to point out my pit-stop comments. I always have them.

Usually I comment on the cleanliness, the decor, or the efficiency of the layout. No, seriously! Every bathroom gets a report card.
Since my first day at City College San [...]

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Why I Need a Loft Apartment…

A loft would be nice.
A loft is where all the artist types get stuff done. A loft is where parties happen. Where beautiful people come to be.
And in my head, a loft is where I could be. I could be so hip. It would feel so permanent and solid. A place for everything.

My furniture could [...]

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